In His Mind
by The Ninja Who Wanted To Be A Samurai
Summary: Sora has always had trouble distinguishing the real world from fantasy as a diagnosed schizophrenic. But everything changes for him when he meets one boy who understands him like no one ever has. Riku/Sora.
1. One

**A/N: Hello new readers and perhaps some of my old gang? Aww who am I kidding, it's been two years. This is a darker look at Kingdom Hearts. Also, true to me and to my writing, this will be a Sora/Riku pairing. Set at no particular time, apart from the games obviously. I had a lot of fun with the characters here, so don't be mad if your favorite character seems just a little… off. :) Without further ado, enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't not own nothing. :) No quotes, characters, anything.**

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- In His Mind -

_Chapter 1_

* * *

_And suppose there are other worlds... then ours is just a little piece of something much greater. So we could have just as easily ended up somewhere else, right?_

_One who knows nothing can understand nothing. _

_We can't let fear stop us! I'm not afraid of the darkness! _

_Kairi! Remember what you said before? I'm always with you too. I'll come back to you... I promise!  
_

_I know you will! _

_Sora, you lazy bum! I knew I'd find you snoozing down here. _

_If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain a part of each other's lives no matter what. C'mon, I know you want to try it!_

_My heart may be weak. And sometimes, it may even give in. But deep down, there's a light that never goes out! _

_That's good. Sora... don't ever change. _

_Don't ever forget: wherever you go, I'm always with you. _

_Giving up already? C'mon, Sora, I thought you were stronger than that. _

_Mr. Hikari? It's time for your meds. Please sit up._

Bright white lights woke Sora up from his trance. The same bright white lights he had been staring at for hours, now came into clear view. He could still hear the voices as he sat up on his bed, which let out an indignant creak, as took the small paper cup from the nurse.

"Thank you." He said shortly, taking another, larger paper cup filled with tap water. He looked up at her and gave her a small, fake smile. She wasn't budging. He swished them all down with the water and handed the two cups back to her with the same empty smile.

Still she waited. She smiled politely, expecting something more from him. After a few more moments of patient waiting, she put her hands on her hips.

"Mr. Hikari, you know you have to open your mouth so I can see that you've taken them."

Sora briefly grimaced at her, openly showing his dislike. He had stopped caring about politeness long ago. He finally gave up and took the pills slowly, hating every minute of it as he felt them stick to his throat on the way down.

"Very good. I'll be back around dinner time, okay?" she said with an artificial smile and a sugary voice.

Sora offered her no reply. He lay back down slowly with a glazed look in his eyes. He stared straight ahead at the ceiling and tuned in to the voices in his head once more.

_Heart or no heart, at least he still has a conscience._

_While we're in other worlds, we can't let on where we're from. We've gotta protect the world border._

_There's someone with a "key"-the key to our survival._

_We need that key or we're doomed!_

"Mr. Hikari? Excuse me, Mr. Hikari-"

"It's world 'order', idiot…" Sora mumbled, his vision blurring momentarily as a figure appeared in front of the light he was staring at.

"Excuse me?" they asked in a confused tone. "Ahem, Mr. Hikari, what did we say when we talked about staring directly into these lights for so long? You'll go blind."

"Blind and crazy. Not a bad combination if you ask me, doc. Sort of like a two-in-one deal." Sora said, meeting the doctor's eyes.

"Well, I can assure that you won't be so nonchalant when you wake up one day and the whole world has gone dark." The doctor commented with a distasteful look at Sora.

_Darkness of the heart…_

Sora blinked hard a few times, both clearing his head and his vision of remaining spots.

"So what's up today, doc? More meds for me?"

The doctor looked down at his clipboard. "No, actually, Mr. Hikari. That is, unless you would like something more."

Sora smiled widely, mockingly so. "I do enjoy being pumped full of chemicals, as we both know."

The doctor did not smile. He spoke in monotone, as if he had said this countless times before but never cared about what he was saying. "Sora, I've told you, we are not 'pumping you full of chemicals', as you so eloquently phrased it. We are trained physicians trying to help you with your condition."

Sora laughed, waving back a forth slightly from the residual effects of his last dosage. "Yes, 'my condition'. You meant to say 'stuff the loony full of meds and make him seem even crazier'."

The doctor frowned at him and chose to avoid the argument. "Let's move on, shall we?"

He consulted his clipboard and brought a small chair around to the side of Sora's bed, sitting down carefully and crossing his legs. Every move he made was forced and strained. He never looked up from the clipboard. Sora struggled to scoot further up the bed and lean against the wall to keep himself from slumping over.

Finally, the doctor spoke. "Tell me Sora, where are we?"

Sora closed his eyes. "Twilight Islands Treatment Facility."

"And how long have you been here for?" he asked, scribbling on his clipboard. The sound got into Sora's head, dulling his senses with the white noise.

"Three years, next Tuesday. Exactly." He said, still keeping a blank expression on his face, although he had begun to sweat.

"And do you know who I am, Mr. Hikari?"

Sora looked up slowly at the man who had just asked him that question. Every fiber of his being was screaming the answer at him. The tan skin, the long white hair pulled back in a ponytail. Those golden orange eyes. The truth was obvious. The lie that his head told him was also obvious. Why was it so hard to tell the truth? Maybe the lie is the truth, after all.

"Dr. Xansem."

"Are you sure? I sense some uncertainty."

_Ansem. Xemnas. Ansem. You're Ansem._

"No, Dr. Xansem. I've known you for nearly a year now." He spat out, relieved with himself.

"Now, who are you?"

"Sora Hikari." He said quickly, automatically.

The doctor scribbled on his clipboard again. It was driving Sora crazy, for lack of a better word. He was sweating and looking anxiously at Dr. Xansem's rapidly moving pen. The lie inside his head always screamed at him to speak it. He began to confuse which was the lie and which he was expected to say, the "truth".

Dr. Xansem looked at him for a long string of moments. It was like he wanted to let Sora sweat it out. To let doubt pollute him even further. _To torture him_.

"Frankly, I'm not sure that you believe anything you just told me."

Sora shook his head slowly, looking directly in his eyes. Those familiar, evil eyes.

"No, Dr. Xansem, I know where and who I am." He said, his voice cracking slightly from the dryness of his mouth and throat. He had to convince him.

"See, I'm not so sure of that Sora." He repeated. "For the past year you've been telling me differently, save just recently. I think you're lying to me, trying to take the easy way out. Now that won't help anyone, will it?" the doctor said coldly, making sure to carefully accentuate every word.

"No doctor. But I have gotten better-" Sora began urgently.

"That's not what the nurses tell me, Mr. Hikari. They've reported violent behavior from you when they try to give you your medication."

Sora swallowed, hard. This could mean the end. Goodbye, hope. Sayonara, freedom. Still, he had to try.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean, doctor." He said quietly.

Dr. Xansem looked down and began to flip backwards through the pages pinned to the clipboard. He sighed and stopped, tracing his finger where he read.

"Patient resisted care, refusing to take medication. Complained about desire to escape and find a 'Kairi'. Had to restrain and sedate patient." The doctor flipped back a couple of pages, beginning to read once more.

"Patient showed signs of violence when lights were dimmed or turned off. Mr. Hikari complained about the threat of 'the darkness invading his heart'. Patient was restrained and sedated."

Dr. Xansem looked up to Sora, who was avoiding his eyes. "Do I need to read further?"

Sora did not respond. He was afraid that his actions had been reported, had known this asshole would throw it back in his face like this. But he simply couldn't help it.

"Sora, with these outbursts about 'Kingdom Hearts' and 'the darkness', not to mention all of these imaginary people, we are very concerned that you haven't recovered from any of your symptoms in the entire year you've been here. I'll have to increase your medication dosage. Hopefully that will have an effect on your schizophrenia." The doctor began scribbling on his clipboard again.

Sora clenched his fists so hard that he thought he might break his own hands. _No. NO. They can't sedate me anymore. They're killing me with all of this damn medication. They want me to distinguish between the fantasy and reality? What a better way than to turn my brain to mush. I can't stay here any longer, it's making everything worse. I can't stop these voices in my head… how much longer can I stand this?_

He was shaking now, and the doctor noticed.

"Mr. Hikari? Is everything okay?" the doctor asked, more concerned about himself than Sora.

Sora couldn't answer; he was so furious that he was being cheated out of a chance to get out of this hell because they would never believe his lies and he would never stop hearing these damn voices. He was trapped in this prison with bleach white walls and horrible, sterile people. Trapped with the voices and the darkness. Trapped inside his label: "schizophrenic".

"Sora? Are you alright? Stop clenching your fists." He reached out to grab Sora's hands and try to unclench his fists. He was shaking so much and clenching his fists so hard that he had begun to dig his nails into his palms and bleed.

"Nurse!" the doctor called when he was unable to break Sora's grip. He was standing now, getting Sora to lie down and trying to hold him down on the bed.

"He's seizing, get me a sedative!" the doctor shouted, but Sora could no longer hear or see anything in the hospital room.

He was falling, falling, and falling. Falling deeper into the dark waters.

He felt his eyelids flutter open and his body turn slightly, so that he was now falling vertically. He landed softly on a platform. He looked around in confusion, then took a slight step forwards. Doves, everywhere. He was blinded for a moment by the movement of so many white wings. He saw bright tiles below him, all around him, and above him were the white doves, flying into the darkness above.

_I've been having these weird thoughts lately...like is any of this for real, or not?_

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**A/N: Yay! I'm really excited for this one. Part 2, coming soon! Please review and let me know what you thought so far.**


	2. Two

- In His Mind -

_Chapter 2_

* * *

Sora awoke in a room that was not his own. He took in the bright lights and white walls. Very similar so far… so what was different?

He held up his hand, there was an IV sticking out of the back of his hand. He tried to sit up but he could barely move. He looked down and saw that he was strapped to the table.

He immediately began to panic, struggling against his bonds.

At that moment a nurse walked in with a huge fake smile and fear in her eyes.

"And how are you today, Mr. Hikari? You had quite the ordeal the other day." She said in her sugary sweet voice.

He grimaced at her. "You know what would make 'my ordeal' a hell of a lot better? If you'd un-strap me from this damn table."

"Oh I'm afraid I can't do that. See, the last time you seized and we didn't restrain you, you broke that poor nurse's arm. I don't think I'd like that to happen to me too." She said, never removing the smile from her face.

He began heaving upwards in an attempt to break them. He felt hot panic coursing through his veins, and felt it increasing with every rushed heartbeat. He felt like a caged animal; all he wanted to do was get out.

She began to look a bit worried when he snapped up at her.

"Let me out!" he yelled, thrashing his head as a cold sweat broke out all over his body.

"Mr. Hikari! Would you please lie still! It's time for your medication. Besides, you had a seizure two days ago, it's not smart to overexert yourself." She moved towards him with a full syringe, grabbing his arm.

"Time for my medication? Get that thing away from me you crazy bitch!" he screamed, twisting and writhing under the tight straps. In his struggle he managed to wriggle his pinky finger from under the bonds. He was quickly working on the other fingers when the nurse ran out of the room, yelling for the doctor.

Dr. Xansem came in with the syringe just as Sora had managed to get half of the fingers on his right hand from under the bonds. The IV had been ripped out in the process, and it lay on the floor dripping as a result. The strong tanned man held down his arm and gave him the shot in the crook of his elbow.

Sora struggled like a wild animal against him, but after a few seconds he began to feel his energy slipping away, along with his senses. The world was going dull and fuzzy around him as he slumped back against his pillow.

The last thing he saw before slipping into unconsciousness was Dr. Xansem comforting the nurse and giving her instructions in a hushed tone. He had a bad feeling about this…

_III_

_Sora you lazy bum! I knew I'd fine you snoozing down here._

_Kairi!_

The next time that Sora awoke, he was on the same hospital bed, but his straps had been loosened. He waited for some of the dizziness to fade away before wriggling his hands from under the middle strap with some difficulty. He unhooked that, followed by the others.

He shakily sat up, looking around his environment warily. There didn't appear to be anyone around. He listened for voices outside his door, but heard none. He swung his legs over the bed and felt the cool air making his leg hair stand on end. When he tried to plant his feet on the cold floor and steady himself, he fell over sideways.

"Damn!" he swore aloud, cursing the entire hospital for drugging him for so long. He felt so helpless, like a child all of the time.

He tried again, summoning all of his strength and directing it to his legs. _Move. Move, damn it!_

They did. Slowly, one foot found its way in front of the other, and vice versa. His vision began to blur again and he started to tip forward. His hands caught the edge of a table which he used to steady himself. When he looked up and blinked several times to clear the mist, what he saw surprised him.

"My medication…" he said, trailing off as he leaned against the wall and picked up the bottle.

The nurses came once a day, every day, without fail, to inject his arm with this medication. Every day it dulled his senses and made him incapable of coherent thoughts or actions. He was made into a shell of himself every damn day by these bastards. And for what? To silence the voices? They were only dimmed, never fully disappearing. It changed from stereo sound to mono; like hearing out of only one side on your headphones. It was maddening.

He turned the bottle over and read the back label.

"Side effects include headaches, dizziness, and inability to drive or operate heavy machinery…"

What he saw next made his blood boil.

"This product has been known to cause seizures in certain patients. Please consult your doctor." He spat out.

That bastard had been giving him medication he _knew_ would cause him to have these seizures. What was he trying to do? Kill him? Keep him sedated and cause him further damage? What did this mean?

He put the bottle down and turned, his head spinning from both the discovery of this information and from whatever medication was coursing its way through his veins at the moment. For the first time, he took a real look at the room he was in.

The walls were still the hideous bleached white color, but they were bare unlike his usual room which was covered with ridiculous posters from the hospital's stock. Their messages were of encouragement, hope, and kittens hanging from tree branches. He hated them.

Upon closer inspection, he saw that the walls were chipped and worn. _I must be in an older part of the hospital_, Sora reasoned. And he was right. As he continued to weakly shuffle to the side of the room that was across from the bed, he could see that this equipment was also worn and older. It seemed that all of the meters and tools were from the 1950s, yet they were all polished and seemed like they had been recently used. He recognized a few different types of gadgets on the table, such as the stethoscope, blood pressure pump, monitors, syringes… but there were other, stranger machines which seemed out of place. Hooked knives, small devices with monitors attached to them, and many different types of cutting tools. _Where was he_?

Suddenly his legs gave out. He fell to the cold, dirty floor in a heap. He knew he wasn't supposed to overexert himself with all of the medication in him, because he could have a heart attack. He felt a wave of fear pass through him as he looked down at his own body and saw scars that were not there when he was awake last. He looked back up at the tools and tried to make sense of what had happened.

Then he heard the noise of footsteps in the hall outside his door. Another wave passed through him, this time it was desperation. He summoned all of his strength and his weakened heart to lift himself up and pull himself onto the table again. He pulled himself into a sitting position and tied his straps again. The steps were getting nearer, with voices approaching as well.

He tightened the straps over his upper body awkwardly and poorly, trying to get a good angle to pull the strap with.

"…showed much more progress than the others. I think he may be the perfect candidate for testing." Sora strained his ears, trying to hear any scrap that he could.

"Doctor, the board members have already denied you permission on more than one occasion for this… testing. How far are you willing to push us before you are put up for inspection?" Came a second voice. The two figures had almost reached him.

"Dr. Maus, I have no choice but to pursue this. It has been my life's cause to explore heart functioning under mental and emotional trauma. We have never been able to find out the causes of schizophrenia and Alzheimer's disease because we refuse to push these ridiculous ethical boundaries set up by the board of trustees. The heart must be explored, exploited to its full potential! The heart is the key to everything!"

Sora knew the voice now. Dr. Xansem's voice had been etching itself into his mind for the three years he had dealt with him

e. The men were outside the door now.

"Xansem, I'm warning you now…"

"No Dr. Maus, I'm warning _you_. Do not step in my way of this." Xansem's voice softened with earnest. "We have been colleagues for some time, friends for even longer, and you know what this means to me. I need this. I _have_ to know. For the sake of medicine."

"Old friend, you know I can't allow it. The fatality risk is too high. This isn't for the sake of medicine; it's for the sake of closure. We cannot use patients for our own gain Xansem, you should know this, _live_ by it!"

Maus paused, as if he was deciding. Sora dared not breathe.

"I'm going to go to the board about this. It's insane. I've tried to make every excuse for you, tried to protect you, but I can't do it anymore. This needs to end."

Sora heard one set of footsteps begin to walk further down the hallway, away from him, then a quick pair following.

"Dr. Maus… Mickey! Stop!"

The footsteps halted.

"I'm sorry, but I can't be a part of this any longer."

"But we want the same things! Can't you see?" Xansem yelled in exasperation.

"No, I'm afraid we don't." Maus said shortly. Then he said something else quietly, which Sora could barely hear. "I'm sorry, friend, but we never have."

With that, the first set of footsteps proceeded down the hallway until the sound of Maus' shoes faded away completely.

There was silence for what seemed like five minutes, and then Sora suddenly heard Xansem running towards the door. His whole body tensed up as he tried to slow his breathing enough to be perceived as at least sleeping. He willed his body to be calm as he laid his head back and closed his eyes. The door was thrown open a second later and Xansem burst into the room.

"_You._" He spat out. He quickly made his way over to Sora's bed and began to type on the computer monitor next to him.

"You aren't responding to my treatment. This is a problem. We will have to up your dosage, Mr. Hikari."

Sora wasn't sure if the doctor knew he was awake or not. He continued to play asleep, but panic began to course through his veins. What was he going to put into him now? And what would come of it? More seizures? Aneurisms? What if all this medication stopped his heart? But even as he began to think of all of the possible outcomes as he was helplessly strapped to this table, he could hear his heart rate increasing on the vital monitors.

"Waking up, are we? We can't have that. We have so much to do together, still." Xansem said in his tweaked voice.

Sora's eyes flashed open in panic as he began to feel the drug course its way through his body. Not again…

_Well I didn't ask for this._

_The Keyblade chooses its master. And it chose you. So tough luck._

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_**A/N: Here it is, Chapter 2. Thank you to everyone who is reading this right now, I appreciate you sticking with me. And thank you to everyone who read or submitted a review or Chapter 1. Sorry for taking so long to update, spring university semester just started and I'm swamped! **_

_**Just a few things. Sora isn't the Keyblade master we all know here. So when he cusses and struggles, please try to imagine a darker Sora rather than thinking of it as OOC (even though he is). This is a loose interpretation of the character's personalities being used.**_


	3. Three

- In His Mind -

_Chapter 3_

* * *

It had been three days since he awoke in that room. Three days since he found out why he was having the seizures. Three days of waiting to go back.

Sora was paranoid, that could certainly be said. But he was not crazy. Well, that couldn't be said as certainly yet. There were still the voices in his head…

He looked up from his plate of soggy vegetables, grey meat, and mounded mashed potatoes to stare out the window.

He hadn't been feeling the same since that day. Now he knew for sure that Dr. Xansem was up to something, and that it involved him. He had always suspected the good doctor of something, but he had never known what. It was the way he looked at Sora that set off his senses. The something brewing in those amber eyes frightened him, unsettled him. What was he planning to do with Sora? Had he been entered into medical testing without his permission? Surely _that_ wasn't legal.

And as he thought it with sarcasm, a terrifying thought came into his head. What if he _had _signed off on this treatment, unknowingly? Xansem had been pumping him full of drugs ever since he had arrived at Twilight Islands Treatment Facility. Is it so impossible that he could've persuaded him to sign whatever he needed when he was drugged? Or even simpler, could Xansem have signed the damn thing himself? Sora didn't even begin to hold the doctor to a higher regard then this, he knew how low he could sink.

His hands couldn't stop fidgeting and moving. He ripped up his napkin into pieces then piled them on top of his uneaten food. He drummed them on the table. He wrung them together. He cracked his knuckles. He did _everything_ to stop thinking about that room.

_Have you been dreaming again?_

_It wasn't a dream. Or was it? I don't know._

He blinked hard a few times, trying to clear out the voices. The light coming in from the window shifted. For a moment he could swear that he saw a flash of red hair. He could hear her voice, her laughter.

_It's my lucky charm. Make sure to bring it back to me!_

_I will._

He felt so attached to this specter, this apparition only he could see and hear. He felt her presence all the time. Like a warm, loving friend only he could see. His only friend. What was wrong with him?

And then there was _him_. The other presence he always felt. Unlike Kairi, this shadow was darker. He was more twisted, more mysterious, and less approachable. Sora was afraid of him somewhat. He had learned to more or less tune out this other nameless specter, because he was afraid to reveal to others the emotions that this man made him feel. He would be in the loony bin forever if he embraced this ghost.

And for all the fear and uncertainty that he aroused in Sora, he was irrevocably, irreparably, hopelessly drawn to him. Far stronger than the love and appreciation he felt for Kairi, there was some animalistic urge in Sora that tied him to this other apparition. He wanted to be like it, talk like it, and feel like it. To possess the same fiery passion he felt radiating from him. He wanted him to be real, to love him and admire him. He needed his approval.

Most days, Sora simply couldn't get him out of his head. So he coped by trying to force out his voice, and hoped that this would eventually drive out his presence permanently.

Then suddenly he was joined by another person. A real person. In fact, the arrival of this new person was so sudden that Sora openly stared at him for a full thirty seconds with his mouth agape before awkwardly looking back down at his untouched food. No one had ever sat with him.

One million emotions and thoughts flooded his brain at once.

_Someone at my table? What did they want? Who are they? What do I do? What should I say? Should I introduce myself? What if he's not a friend? Why is he sitting so close? Is there food on my face? Why is he staring at me like that?_

"Hi. My name is Riku." The stranger said simply, easily. How did he do that? Sora remained silent, too shocked to speak.

This stranger smiled encouragingly, waiting for a response. Sora did not indulge him.

"Uh, what's your name?" He continued. He looked at Sora intently, waiting once more.

_What should I do? _He screamed at himself. He hadn't spoken to anyone besides his hallucinations, nurses, and Dr. Xansem in almost the entire time he had been here. It just wasn't like him to be social with the other residents. He was afraid of most of them. But this man, he was different. There was something in those aquamarine eyes and the slight curvature of his lips that told Sora it was okay to speak, to give information.

"Sora." He began shakily, daring to make eye contact. "Sora is my name, my first name."

He had babbled. He cursed in his head and twitched slightly. He looked back down at his food. He was painfully bad at this.

"Sora." He said, in a thinking sort of tone. "Well I figured you could use some company. You're always sitting here alone."

"Yeah." After every sentence he was scrambling through his mind to find something to say next.

"So, why is that?" Riku asked softly, with a slight tilt to his head.

Sora met his eyes once more. What? Did he miss something? He wracked his brain for a few terrible moments searching for the right answer.

"Um, I don't know. I just like sitting alone I guess." Sora mumbled.

Riku furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

Sora didn't know how to answer, and was turning increasingly red.

"Uh…" He replied stupidly.

"No one likes to sit alone." Riku continued with his brow still wrinkled in apparent confusion.

"Well, I guess I do. And there are other people in here that don't talk too much, either." Sora was trying to keep up with the fact that someone was sitting at his table, asking him questions, and that he was completely unprepared to answer them.

"Look, I know where we are, but that doesn't mean we can't make friends. Besides, you're different than the others." Riku said with a light in his eyes. Sora was instantly infatuated with that light. He knew it from somewhere…

"What? I mean – how do you know that?" Sora stuttered on, failing to keep pace.

Riku looked down, the first time that he had broken his stare at Sora. Sora took this opportunity to study his appearance, which he had been dying to do.

Silver locks fell into his face as he looked downwards, brushing his pale forehead. His hair was long, about halfway down his upper arms. It fell in neat pieces, unlike Sora's unruly mane. The color fascinated Sora, and he wondered how it came to be that shade of silver. Riku's shoulders were broad and strong, and he wore simple clothing, unlike the hospital garb that Sora wore. They must reside in different parts of the hospital, Sora concluded. As Riku looked back up into Sora's eyes, apparently having found an answer, a flash of recognition took hold of Sora.

_I_ have _seen him before. He usually sits outside, alone. So what is he doing criticizing me?_

"I guess I just could tell by looking at you."

Sora snorted. "You could tell I was different just by looking at my hospital gown? You're right, it is a very unique look around here."

He looked down suddenly, cursing internally for being such a smart ass. He was afraid that he had offended Riku. At the same time, he was happy that he had shown a flicker of his old self, before he had been committed. When he dared to look back up at Riku, he was smiling wide and laughing softly.

"You're a smart ass. I like that."

Sora replied with a small, awkward smile. He was even more pleased with himself after seeing Riku's reaction, which unsettled him. After a few moments of silence, Riku spoke up again.

"But really Sora, there's something about you that's different from the rest of the guys in here, what's your story?"

Sora was shocked, not unlike most of this odd visit. What did this stranger have to gain from asking all of these questions? And why in the hell should he share his story with him? He wouldn't allow Riku to get the better of him time after time, he had to stand his ground. But when he looked back into his aquamarine eyes, which were diligently scanning his features, his resolve seemed instantly weakened.

_Giving up already? C'mon, Sora, I thought you were stronger than that._

"What?" Sora said aloud, whipping his head up to look directly into Riku's eyes.

"I said you're different, stronger somehow. How did you get in here?" Riku repeated, his silver brows furrowing again.

_I've always wondered why we're here on this island. _

No…

_If there are any other worlds out there, why did we end up on this one? _

No, it can't be…

_And suppose there are other worlds... then ours is just a little piece of something much greater._

"Sora?"

_So we could have just as easily ended up somewhere else, right?_

Suddenly realization dawned on Sora, like a great tidal wave that had been rushing towards him for quite some time. Riku… it was Riku.

_He_ was Riku. The voice, the spirit in his head. But what did this mean?

He suddenly remembered the presence of the other man, who was watching him intently, waiting for him to speak and relieve his apparent confusion. But Sora could not speak, could barely breath. He needed to escape.

"I'm sorry, I need to go." Sora said suddenly as he gathered his items up quickly, trying to pile everything onto the tray in one heap.

"What? Why? Did I say something…?"

Sora winced, moving quicker and tripping over his own actions. He couldn't stand to hear his voice; the emotions that it made him feel were unreal, unbearable. Just as he was finally standing up, ready to bolt towards the door, keeping his gaze on anything but Riku, he felt a warmth on his hand. He looked and saw a pale, larger hand with a firm grip on his. He was so shocked that his tray dropped from his hands and clattered onto the table again.

"Please. Stay."

The tone to his voice made Sora want to do anything he said. He so longed for this meeting, for the companionship that Riku was offering. He knew he needed this. He could feel the intense gaze burrowing into him, but couldn't return it. A stronger emotion inside told him to flee, to put as much distance in between himself and this confusion, exquisite discovery.

"Sorry." Sora mumbled as he broke the contact and made his way to the door as quickly as possible. One of the nurses stopped him a few feet outside the door, where he knew Riku could still see him.

"Mr. Hikari, are you done with your meal?" she asked.

"Yes." Sora bit back.

"Well, you know you're supposed to have an escort outside the commons and your room." She began to scold him. However, once she took one look into his icy blue eyes and saw a fraction of the storm inside him at the moment, she decided it better to shut her mouth and started to walk back to his room. "Follow me please."

Sora was in no mood to argue. He followed closely behind, wanting to urge the nurse to move faster. He wanted to put as much distance between himself and that lunch hall.

When they finally reached his room, the nurse unlocked the door and he stepped inside. It was cold and lifeless in his room as it always had been, but it seemed to be even more so after the bit of light that entered his life that afternoon. He heard the click of the tumblers moving back into their locked positions as he lay on his bed, curled on his side. He was so exhausted from the encounter that he fell straight asleep, without removing his shoes.

His last thought as he entered a deep, tumultuous sleep was of the few glimpses he had stolen of Riku's face.

_What did all of this mean?_

* * *

_**A/N: Another chapter down. Sorry I haven't been able to provide you folks with rapid updates, I work two jobs and I only write when I'm working one of them that allows me downtime. I have enjoyed writing this so far, and I'm still deciding where I want to take it. I was very happy that this many people seem to be enjoying it thus far, I hope it continues to be entertaining. **_


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